Muktha Balaga

Tit Bits of Life….

Posted on: July 26, 2008

I was thinking to write a new post here. Offlate when ever something interesting happens in day to day life, I think about sharing it people. One reason is to keep up the writing habit and another and most important is to know other’s views or May be to see if my views correlate with the majority! Well, I am going to write about two episodes that happened recently and please feel free to comment on…🙂

Episode 1 : ARE WE SO IMMUNE TO THESE THINGS AT BENGALURU?

I think this was some two weeks back. It was just after I put my son into sleep around 10 in the morning on a saturday. I was about to get back to my kitchen work, when I heard some honks in variety. Lot many times I see the traffic clog on our road, but this time it was different. People were loosing patience at the backside  and this generally happens if there is any accident and people are still figuring out what to be done next and the whole road gets arranged with the flowing vehicles.

Some three four Autos and a new Scorpio were parked almost infront of our gate and a lady was arguing with the auto driver2. This was because the Scorpio hit the Auto1 and Auto driver2 was arguing heavily with the lady demanding her to pay some Rs 250/- for the damage caused(a dent on the right side just above the tire). The Auto driver1 was almost keeping silent listening to the conversation that was happening between Auto Driver 2 and the lady. The fun was both of them didn’t understand each other’s language but still the auto driver 2 ‘managing to speak in Hindi’ and the lady was trying really hard to say few words in ‘kannada’..

Finally one ‘Gentelman’ came from the backside(one of the vehicle owners whose vehicle was also struck in the traffic jam) and tried to resolve this issue by negotiating some middle price. Auto driver continues to demand for 250 and the lady resenting to pay it completely. Finally the lady suggests to go to a near by police station and have the maamla solved. Auto Driver1 gets alerted and says, Why police for all these, we can solve it here.. The lady continues her argument and the set of people are watching the tamasha without actually doing anything.. And more and more people are getting added to the crowd with some curiosity!!

Finally I, having known both the languages entered the scene and requested them to clear up the traffic as soon as possible since the honking sound was becoming too terrible. Auto driver 2 says “Had she requested instead of raising her voice, they would have considered forgiving the whole act but her demand is what irked them”.. The Lady says, she is powerful and owns 4 autos and the damage(dent) caused by the accident will not even cost 100 bugs so they better accept 100 bugs and push away. She was even saying that she is capable of influencing the people at police station so that they punish the Auto guys and teach them the lesson. Auto driver kept on talking about her rudeness.

Finally I had to spend few of kannada words and few hindi words to end the negotiation and 100 bugs closed the deal. Show came to and end and people spreaded out thus clearing out the traffic.

I wonder if the whole episode triggered any thoughts in you? I kept thinking about the whole episode while I was entering into the kitchen. These are the points…..

1> Can the whole situation be handled in a better way?

2> Does Auto driver ganging up help in better negotiations? Why did Auto Driver 2 came in for that point?

3> Why was that woman so confident(rude?) though it was her mistake?

4> Should I have minded my own business?

5> Why does people just stand and watch the whole episode without doing anything or just minding their own business??

Episode 2 : WHY WAS IT SO?

This is a total different episode which happened just yesteday. We went to Fresh @ Indiranagar for some Vegetable shopping. I was holding my son in one hand and trying to tear the polythene(Those transparent ones which are kept rounded and we can tear how much ever we need) to fill the vegetables into it. A couple came and the lady insisted to pull out the polythene there. The guy just waited for me to finish it. I over heard the lady saying, “She(referring me) was struggling to pull that out, why did you not help her(i.e me) to get those “?..

By then My husband joined us and we continued shopping without much difficulty. The above episode kept me thinking and these are the points to ponder.

1> Was there a better way to take out the cover instead of single handedly trying to tear it?

2> Are woman more courteous?

3> Didn’t that person realise that I was struggling to pull that out? or was he interested to pick few for them instead so he was waiting for me to finish it?

4> What would I have done if I were in his place? (Definitely would want to help the person but sometimes takes time to think whether to help or not)

5> Was that person hesitating to offer me the help?

I guess we enjoy reading such simple daily life stories.. Please feel free to share any interesting episodes which most of us can relate to.

–Veena

13 Responses to "Tit Bits of Life…."

Veena, it is default human character to offer help or react in the situations you have mentioned. But of late, we are trying to be inert. The reason could be we didn’t get help when we needed so we do not bother about others. I really appreciate your going and offering help to ease the situation. I would rather be mute spectator especially when it’s to deal with auto fellows – who can use foul language even with a small tirgger.
your experience @Fresh outlet, the person might have been just thinking about helping but must be wondering how you would take it! There’s very little time to put thoughts into action! I for one would avoid puitting things into cover if I go with my daughter to reliance outlet!

Another episode from my end –

One of my colleague’s frie d was driving back to bengaluru in his car. Approaching bengaluru, he saw a wounded man (probalby from nearby village) on the road side and as a gesture of humanity, took him in his car to a nearby hostpital. He got the preson’s family details and called them from his mobile and told them what had happened. They came to the hospital and thanked him and he left from the scene satisfied.

The next day, the wounded person’s family member called him and started demanding money for the hospital charges. When he did not oblige, they threatended him of going to police and file a complaint against him. The family accepted that he had nothing to do with the accident, but were doing this because they did not have any money.

Veena avare, the next time my colleague’s friend will defenitely not help any stranger. So I dont blame people if they are not lending a helping hand if someone else is in trouble. People are scared. As per “muttina thorana” for a middle class family police and court are like “geddavanu sootha, soothavanu sattha”. Who knows, tomorrow if I am in that situation, I also may just be a silent spectator!!!

idu kaliyuga kanri. Heegee aagbeku antha devara chitta mattu namage parikshe. Aadashtu bereyavarige sahaaya maadoona. Aadre bengaluru badalaagatte anno aase bitbidi.

Vishvasi,
– Rajeeva

@ Radhika, True.. Auto fellows are very randomly virtuous.. Few I have found very kind and helpful.. My experience is always ” You help somebody and you would surely get help from a different person” so one should not get demotivated and get inert at times..
and @ Fresh, there is no way we could measure and bill the veggies without putting them into the polythene covers. How do you actually do both?

@Rajeev – Strange, oLLe cinema kathe idda haage ideyella.. so sad kaNri.. A family avaru request aadru maadkobekalva hedrisodu hege? Not fair at all.. Avara hatra duddilla antha eethara maadodu nyaaya alla bidi.
Yuga enu bidi, jana badlaagbeku ashTe. adakke kaNri bombu, bookampa antha aagthirodu.. Devare kaapadappa!🙂

Thanks both for sharing your views.

Reactions/Responses to actions depend on the situations / circumstances.

Auto incident: There is always an EGO that comes into picture, specially once the action initiated that has to be ended in his/her favor, so no way any negotiations come into picture. In arguments like those, at least one need to think calm and help resolve the issue, but at the same time the other also needs to calm down. At times it appears although, their minds are blocked for any other opinions or insights. These things also happen at work and homes at times, that one individual thinks he is right, but not really think about it. At times Ego plays a prominent role. Only people with good Interpersonal Relationship Skills can manage such situations better.

vege store incident: He must have been just waiting for you to be done. Could he have helped? sure, he perhaps didn’t offer for the reason as Radhika states above. I have noticed in the US, many cars pulled over on highways, they might have been waiting for some help, but rarely any one attempts to stop and offer help and even check if they need help –> and that’s because of scary incidents in the past. agreed- highway instance is a different scenario. Vege Store could have different type of polythene bag dispenser, that doesn’t need both the hands to take one. Most times if I am tearing one for myself, and if I notice anyone else approaching for a bag, I would just give it and tear other for myself. It just depends on how the circumstances are and the mindset too.

In my perception, We can’t make assumptions for others’ mindsets and for their actions at times. Every minute is different for different people. If one was so much in his/her own world (for any personal reasons) and didn’t realize an opportunity to offer help, that could be just because of his/her personal issue. I also agree, there are few arrogant who do not want to offer any help. I think it just depends.🙂

just my 2c🙂

Here is an incident shared by one of the residents of our building:

She took an auto one day and came home. She gave the auto driver the charge she had ready in her hand, and came back home. Then she realized that she had forgotten her purse (with all the money, credit cards etc) in the auto. She was very worried. She did not know the auto license plate number or the name of the auto driver.

However, after 2 days, that auto driver came looking for her and gave her the purse that she had forgotten in the back of the auto seat. That driver found it when he was cleaning his auto at night. He had taken a few passengers that day, and did not know who it belonged to, as there was no address written anywhere in the purse. However, he found some doctor’ visiting card, and also the credit card with the bank’s name. He called all these places and found her address out and returned the purse, with EVERYTHING intact🙂

Therefore, it is not the ‘kaala’ that has changed, it is the mankind which has changed in general. But we do have people like this auto driver still around, and we should thank God for that😀

@Veena, I don’t feel the need for us to weigh vegetables or fruits as it’s anyway done again by the person at the counter. If you are buying lots it needs to be put in cover otherwise, the person at the counter does it for you willingly🙂 Ofcourse if there’re too many small small things it might irritate the next person person in the queue but that’s the only way when your child is with you and you have no other help! By the way why didn’t u make Siddhant sit on one of those shopping carts? He would have enjoyed and your shopping would be easier too.

@Veena, I think @Fresh one needs to weigh vegetables/fruits before reaching the cash counter. But in reliance fresh, we need not weigh.

@Ram, so true explanation you have given. This EGO is a big villan and ya these things keep happening at every other place. In home or office we are bound to obligations like the other person is related or your boss but at public places its your wish/will unless you are doing anything against law..

@srinivas – Wow! Thats so nice of that fellow. Very less people do help other by going ‘Out of the Way’ isn’t it. May such people live for long. Here is one such story which personally happened to me and I had blogged long back.

@Radhika – I generally keep it weighed once I come to the main billing counter as it may irk the other customers standing behind because of the delay caused .. and it also help me to pick veggies how much ever I need otherwise I can’t run around to get more if it weighs less or otherwise.
Fresh was very small and the big cart would have cause inconvinence to others if I had taken that one so we picked up the smaller (plastic) one. Also I tried that sitting option the other day , but it needs constant attention towards him more than shopping as he is very young. Probably he should be alteast 10 months to be seated I guess.

@Veena, I think we need not be particluar about the weight – 900gm of something would be just fine as is 1000gm isn’t it? About irking the next person in the queue- since it’s not intentional it’s fine🙂

Veena,
Humanitarian grounds and empathy has given way to over compitetion and greediness. The empathy factor was lost sometime in early 1970’s with the onslaught of western culture – what you say are true incidents which happen in many of our lives.

Moral science should be taught in schools for 4 hrs every day and actually practised by parents/gaurdians and only then we can have some respite in the next 10 years.

Veena avare as per my dad Mysoreans bandu mathu kathe nalli panTru yavade jagaLa naDiyodralli mathu mugiyodralli avarade kaivaaDa eruthe. So no doubts in your action🙂

Regarding the Veg Shop may be that guy’s wife will tell ” Never you have helped me when needing but thought of helping that lady (Veena) !!!!!!!!!!!!! 😉

@Mohan, Very valid point.. I better buy some moral science books for my son🙂 and also practise them too😉

@Prasanna Sastry avare, super thinking ri nimmadu.. so true any wife would say that I know, so guys would become more careful that way annisutte!!

Ayyo, these auto people always create a mess. Whenever I board an auto from Forum or Comm St. they demand for Rs 10 extra even though the destination is within city limits and its noon or morning. Common excuse–ayyo, madam tumba traffic jam ide.. hattu rupayee extra kodi… and I end up paying 90 or 100 rs. In tht amount I can to go outstation to Tumkur or Mysore😀

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